RAVING MADNESS

2009-10-20T05:18:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA!!!!! the leeds united keeper mocks liverpool by placing beachballs in his goal during the warm-up......LIVE CAN BE A BEACH RAFA!!!

2009-10-19T02:54:00.000-07:00

Beachball ... 1
Heskey ... er, 0

ENGLAND boss Fabio Capello has a new selection headache - as the Beachball is currently out-scoring World Cup hopeful Emile Heskey!

HESKEY

Cost £3.5m

Caps 57

Minutes on pitch this season 176

Shots on goal this season 1

Goals 0

BEACHBALL

Cost .. £10 plus a free towel 'n bag

Caps 0

Minutes on pitch 5

Shots on goal 1

Goals 1

2009-10-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

feeling so full
legs are hurting...........AND

I AM CHANGING MY BAND INTO A CHRISTIAN BAND!!!
*the next planetshakers*.....XD

2009-09-24T01:04:00.000-07:00

have a listen to Muse's song uprising seriously good

2009-09-23T05:22:00.000-07:00

pictures paint a thousand words....XD

2009-09-23T05:18:00.000-07:00

jamming was awesome today!!!.....padman started acting weird by whacking the drums and eventually broke the hi-hat,sticks got chipped....and shim's guitar snapped its string....

2009-09-23T02:03:00.000-07:00

Having a really bad sunburn *screams in pain......

WHY MEN SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO GIVE ADVICE!!!!

2009-09-23T01:59:00.000-07:00

This is unfair. Men should be allowed to write advice columns too.

*Dear Uncle, My son is interested in nothing except the Manchester United football team. He missed his grandma's funeral to watch the recent cup final on TV. When we came home from the cemetery he was dancing with joy over a goal. It was most inappropriate and the mourners were deeply shocked.
Despairing Widow.

*Dear Despairing Widow, It is clear you have a serious problem here. No right-thinking person would celebrate a goal which was so obviously off-side. The ref must have been TOTALLY blind. Ask your son to check the action replays and he will see the final was STOLEN from AC Milan.

*Dear Uncle, I believe my husband is trying to kill me. The brakes on my car stopped working and it looked like the brake lines had been cut. I can't report it to the police, since my husband is police chief. What shall I do?
Worried Wife.*

Dear Worried Wife,
This is an interesting problem. While a loss of control can be caused by cut brake lines, it could also be a problem with your brake fluid or the pads. Check all three. The economic downturn has intensified competition in the car industry, so you should be able to obtain a first class repair service at 30 per cent below list price.

*Dear Uncle,
20 minutes after my son Jason went to school, a message popped up for him on the family computer. His teacher invited him to meet her after school at a hotel. She signed the note 'smoochykins'. He is 17, and his teacher is around 30. What should I do? Concerned Mother.

*Dear Concerned Mother,
Instant message programs should automatically log out after five minutes of inactivity. Upgrade to MSN version 7.0 to prevent this problem reoccurring.

*Dear Uncle,
My husband bought a home security video system last year. I came home early yesterday and noticed it showed two people kissing in the back garden. Although the picture was fuzzy and grainy, I could clearly make out the faces of my husband and my neighbour. I haven't said anything to him yet. We have been married 18 years. What should I do?
Broken-Hearted Wife.

*Dear Broken-Hearted Wife,
This problem is easily fixed. Replace the wiring with a high impedance cable, set the camera to 'High Definition' and consider getting an NVidia graphics card. Fuzzy and grainy images will be a thing of the past, and you will get crystal clear images from your back garden!

*Dear Uncle, My husband spent the money we had saved for our children's education on a Rolex watch. He says it is vital for his image. But surely he has done wrong?
Penniless Housewife.

*Dear Penniless Housewife,
Yes, your husband has done something very wrong and you should tell him so. Look him in the eye and say: 'Rolex is so yesterday. James Bond wears an Omega. Why did you not consider buying an Omega?' (This answer sponsored by Omega watches.)

AND WOMEN SAY WE ARE COMPLICATED..............XD

SERIOUSLY ...ppl are getting smarter

2009-09-23T01:52:00.000-07:00

A famous brainless guy's secretary was a blondeWhen he wanted to develop his policy on the concept: We ARe Trial and ERROR experts , she lost letters and gave WAR ON TERROR transcript to the Mejah.The financers rushed in, his army too.His army got stranded in quicksands, his army of financers and industrials got stranded too:they made two major blunders ,which led his country to two revolutions in 2008

1 They have ripped off everybody ,expecting a revolt that they were eager to squash;Instead, they got a revolution without one shot being fired:A minority's "political nobody" raised out of nowhere ;he is the boss now and is giving them financers hell .

2 they have increased the cost of the fuel so high, that , under the pressure (low pressure , otherwise called depression ) of the people,car makers have now two choices :build electric cars (or alternative fuel vehicles.)and die slowly or disappear now with their zillion employees.Them automakers , are seeing hell now
In other western countries like this one ( where industrials are friends of the President, ) this electric car business has been set in motion.(The President will be out in no time if he backs up.and he loves the seat soooo much!)
All financers are not finished yet; they started a new scheme (Go Green ), GO G(et) those R(evolutionary) E(nergy) E(xperts) N(owhere)otherwise dubbed G(et ) R(ich),E(ngineering) E(lectric) N(ewbys)
Build electric car in Asia , where it is cheaper to produce , and sell it back tenfold in the West.
Sell to Asians what the Westerners do not want:
oilPayoff one or two puppet leader there, and prohibit there the sale of electric cars.You win tenfold in the West and Fortyfold in the East
-tenfold selling them unwanted products ,
-tenfold by taxing them with the production of CO2 ,
-tenfold by selling them pollution cleaning Equipement,
-AND tenfold by selling them medicine to cure their pollution related diseases )

And as a bonus you get worldwide popularity
I am lucky.I live in this country;
AND here, where I live ,there is no tall building to hide the sun .
I can see it shine from 7 am until sunset, 370 days a year.
I am going plug my electric car to it
Hey ,squeaky lady.
Would you like a ride in my electric limousine?
In a year or two, when it is ready?
Do not forget the key !
Not the car key , you silly!

random thing i read

2009-09-20T22:12:00.000-07:00

The bad advice service is open and ready for questions
DATELINE HONG KONG, SEPTEMBER 11: Usually, the best way to thrive in a recession is to have an original idea. Like the guy in New York who started a service offering bad advice at US$1 a time. Sadly, people there are skeptical about the idea, and he hasn’t made much money.
But other people I’ve discussed it with have loved the idea. It would be perfect for many parts of the world, where financial advisors and consultants charge huge fees for getting everything completely wrong. If we are going to get bad advice, at least it should be good value. So here’s a special new version of the Bad Advice service. The first US$5 worth of bad advice, below, is provided free.

Q: I want to go to America to study. What should I do?

A: Grow a beard, change your name to Bin Laden, and write “terrorism” instead of “tourism” under “purpose of visit” on the visa application form.

Q: The women in our law firm have started a legal feminists group. Should we guys be worried?

A: Not at all. Offer to sit in on their meetings “to help them with any hard words they may not understand”.

Q: A new mosque is opening at the end of my street. What sort of welcome present shall we give them?

A: A book of Danish cartoons would be an excellent gift.

Q: A group of large, dangerous-looking gangsters visited my new shop yesterday demanding protection money. What shall I do?

A: Next time they come, kick the largest one in the seat of the pants as a sign of respect.

Q: I am going to visit Malaysia for the first time next week. What shall I bring?

A: Fill your suitcase and your pockets with illegal drugs. Don’t forget to put price labels on them.
*
AND IN OTHER NEWS…
*
ANOTHER SACKING TALE: Here’s a tale to add to our collection of stories of people being fired. Reader Christian Fardel once came back from a vacation in Mexico and told his employer: “I’m back from a beautiful country. I wouldn’t mind living there.” The boss replied: “Good. You’re sacked” and thanked him for “making it so easy”. *

PIZZA HUT IS changing its name to "The Hut”, because consultants say short, generic names are more memorable. Good idea. The Government of Myanmar should change its name to “The Thugs”.

* NAME OF A new playwright in Hong Kong: Cancer Chong. I learned this from a reader named Jason, who added: “She should be the winner of the ‘what were you thinking?’ award.” *

THE PAY OF post-graduates working at universities can be lower than welfare payments to the jobless, I heard from reader Chaminda de Silva. Okay, so who are the intelligent ones?

* A COMMITTEE OF top scientists has created an official scientific definition of the word “space”. It is the area that begins 118 kilometers above sea level on Planet Earth. Or, the vacuum that exists between the ears of George W. Bush.

* A NEW VENDING machine in Miami offers Bentley limousines at US$1.2 million. Downside: You have to stand there for a year, feeding coins into the slot. *

AND FINALLY…

* A WOMAN IN Germany told police she heard someone being tortured in the woods. Officers found Roland Hofmann laughing at a humorous book. A police officer told the press (I didn’t make this up): “The sound of Germans laughing is unusual.”

arggggggggh!!! FEVER..........

2009-08-02T22:06:00.000-07:00

Im suferring from a bad case of fever......my whole class is like a hospital and all of us got sick during our exam....so whenever we cough or clear our throats the teacher thinks we signalling answers(example of limitless stupidity).......no energy to type one more sentence.......c ya

REPORT CARD DAY

2009-06-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

Today was our schools report card day.......collected my report card....somehow did not get scolding cos grades were terrible.....aniwaiz that it......i miss my pillow, goin to sleep now

2009-06-26T06:56:00.000-07:00

feeling so sick no energy to type..................but some how got energy for tommorow......busy day tommorow going lepak with buddays in jusco then go for the interact installation day......BEST PART miss tuition...hahahaha

ALIENS HAVE LANDED!!!

2009-05-27T05:40:00.000-07:00

Aliens Have Landed!

The aliens have landed!
It’s distressing, but they’re here.
They piloted their flying saucer through our atmosphere.
They landed like a meteor engulfed in smoke and flame.
Then out they climbed immersed in slime and burbled as they came.
Their hands are greasy tentacles.
Their heads are weird machines.
Their bodies look like cauliflower and smell like dead sardines.
Their blood is liquid helium.
Their eyes are made of granite.
Their breath exudes the stench of foods from some unearthly planet.

And if you want to see these sickly, unattractive creatures,
you'll find them working in your school;
they all got jobs as teachers.

SOME FUNNY CRAP BOUT TEACHERS.......................XD

RANDOM

2009-05-12T06:52:00.000-07:00

AHH..........finally got a new pair of futsal shoes.....F5 MAN..........aniwaiz just found out that a certain retard of a friend decided to prank me on facebook....and my whole class new bout it except me............babi betul.............HAIYO got school tommorrow.................:P.......

0FF- HOUR

2009-04-13T04:16:00.000-07:00

[in the voice of a newscaster]

After the recent sucess of earth hour,an unofficial celebration of stupidity was widely celebrated through the class 4 Gigih.In correspondence with the upcoming vasakhi holiday,the celebration of hitting each other on the forehead was in full swing.This auspicious event was therefore called OFF-HOUR.Every five minutes the cries of helpless victims getting hit senselessly on the head could be heard.

One of the victims Mr.Muthuram a\l Rakkapan had this to say.......
[in an indian accent]
''THEY hit me on my head.......no matter how hard i called my amma,they did not stop[sobbing]....and im not even a sikh.......AMMMMMMMMAAA

Now we go to our reporter at the scene Mr Garam Sing Waliam
''As off-ing was in full swing we managed to get hold of one of the culprits Mr nicholas shim
[in real pandamaran chinglish]
''Wah so syok u noe ah.......that indian fellow ah..MUTHULAM ah kena on the head u noe...i wallap him ah until he make chia sue pau in his pants ah .......so smelly u nor..............

SO there you have it, as off-hour was celebrated....many helpless victim were violated in various parts of their body.........This is Denial Shit Ray reporting for 4gigih news...............................

EARTH HOUR...

2009-03-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

OK Earth hour is finally over...............we off-ed the light for like one our and the whole neighbourhood was dark,everybody was like walking around in the aimlessly...........there was a wedding near by and the lights were so bright it didn't look like we all turned off the light.........haiyah....think they don't love the earth....noobs.........XD....

THE ON-GOING WAR BETWEEN THE RED DEVILS AND THE REDS

2009-03-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

Well as everyone knows,liverpool beat man utd 4-1..............big whoop......beat man utd and real madrid and call yourselfs unbeatable,world champs..................hahaha dream on.......anyway i've been reading this international fued between supporters on THESUN..............uk paperlah...........here's some of the comments left by fans

This is a man utd fan's view..........

Posted by: redsizzler
Your getting to bloody cocky on the back of the last 3 wins ! It doesn't make you world beaters you idiots! I find it galling how United get beat in one game for the first time since November get castigated by the press for one blip and Liverpool seem to think they rule the roost on the back of it!Stop trying to steal Uniteds thunder for Christ sake and win something first before even try to claim supremacy over us! You've hit a little purple patch and the world feels good but your inconsistancy will cost you! you will get beat again at the most unexpected places ! thats what you do ! Lets see where the trophies are at the end of the season then the bragging rights can be rightfully claimed but until then button it you cocky baskets!

This is a L'pool fans view................

Posted by: legohead
Redsizzler....touched a nerve have we....maybe we will drop some points, maybe we wont win the league but at the end of the day the FACT still remains we STUFFED you at Old Trafford.....so to finish i think we do have some right to bragg and as you say we will leave it for now and see what happens at the end of the season.....if i remember correctly some of the United squad said they were untouchable......not anymore

personally i hope Man utd draw l'pool in the champs league and mop the floor with them.............come on UNITED

WHY CHINESE SHOULD NOT HAVE CHRISTIAN NAMES..........

2009-03-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller:Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgen t matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!! .

Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)

THIS POST IS NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE OR SOMEONE OR NO ONE...............its just pure stupidity at its best.......XD

BM ESSAY

2009-03-12T23:49:00.000-07:00

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku.Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar.Tetapi saya tidak mahu. Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang. Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit "Adoi!".Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula.Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri.Feri itu terbelah dua. Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia. lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan.Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu. Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas kejalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke bumi.Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris. Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati.Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi.Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati.Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.

some small kids BM essay......funny crapXD

STUPID SAKAI ANTIVIRUS

2009-03-12T23:36:00.000-07:00

Recently,i think it was on a tuesday.....i think so....my comp when all screw-y.......so i scanned the stupid thing............there was like 10 trojan viruses u noe.....so i aso when and downloaded this programe called anti360...........i tell u after that my computer started acting all wierd....when i'm surfing the net suddenly the thing will appear saying THIS WEBSITE IS BLOCKED...........damn sial...........

PONTENG SEKOLAH

2009-03-12T23:29:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA..............the horror that is school is over......for at least 1 week lah.......miss school on thursday and friday, got extra two days holiday........watch futboll gila-gila damn sial.............HAHAHA MAN UTD RULZ..........

2009-03-05T04:37:00.000-08:00

HAHA..................LOL dun ask me why i deleted my blog.....no other work.........aniwaiz after two months of schooling i gotta TWO word that sums it up........... SCHOOL SUCKKKKKKS...............so far the two months are boleh,boleh lah...........i wish i could burn my school down..........one of my many dreams................but the thought of going to school and irritating the heck out of our dear retard samuel keeps me going.....sori samuel but your just an easy target.....................so i guess thats it.........chiow.................