have a listen to Muse's song uprising seriously good

pictures paint a thousand words....XD

jamming was awesome today!!!.....padman started acting weird by whacking the drums and eventually broke the hi-hat,sticks got chipped....and shim's guitar snapped its string....

Having a really bad sunburn *screams in pain......

WHY MEN SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO GIVE ADVICE!!!!

This is unfair. Men should be allowed to write advice columns too.


*Dear Uncle, My son is interested in nothing except the Manchester United football team. He missed his grandma's funeral to watch the recent cup final on TV. When we came home from the cemetery he was dancing with joy over a goal. It was most inappropriate and the mourners were deeply shocked.
Despairing Widow.

*Dear Despairing Widow, It is clear you have a serious problem here. No right-thinking person would celebrate a goal which was so obviously off-side. The ref must have been TOTALLY blind. Ask your son to check the action replays and he will see the final was STOLEN from AC Milan.

*Dear Uncle, I believe my husband is trying to kill me. The brakes on my car stopped working and it looked like the brake lines had been cut. I can't report it to the police, since my husband is police chief. What shall I do?
Worried Wife.*


Dear Worried Wife,
This is an interesting problem. While a loss of control can be caused by cut brake lines, it could also be a problem with your brake fluid or the pads. Check all three. The economic downturn has intensified competition in the car industry, so you should be able to obtain a first class repair service at 30 per cent below list price.

*Dear Uncle,
20 minutes after my son Jason went to school, a message popped up for him on the family computer. His teacher invited him to meet her after school at a hotel. She signed the note 'smoochykins'. He is 17, and his teacher is around 30. What should I do? Concerned Mother.

*Dear Concerned Mother,
Instant message programs should automatically log out after five minutes of inactivity. Upgrade to MSN version 7.0 to prevent this problem reoccurring.


*Dear Uncle,
My husband bought a home security video system last year. I came home early yesterday and noticed it showed two people kissing in the back garden. Although the picture was fuzzy and grainy, I could clearly make out the faces of my husband and my neighbour. I haven't said anything to him yet. We have been married 18 years. What should I do?
Broken-Hearted Wife.


*Dear Broken-Hearted Wife,
This problem is easily fixed. Replace the wiring with a high impedance cable, set the camera to 'High Definition' and consider getting an NVidia graphics card. Fuzzy and grainy images will be a thing of the past, and you will get crystal clear images from your back garden!

*Dear Uncle, My husband spent the money we had saved for our children's education on a Rolex watch. He says it is vital for his image. But surely he has done wrong?
Penniless Housewife.

*Dear Penniless Housewife,
Yes, your husband has done something very wrong and you should tell him so. Look him in the eye and say: 'Rolex is so yesterday. James Bond wears an Omega. Why did you not consider buying an Omega?' (This answer sponsored by Omega watches.)

AND WOMEN SAY WE ARE COMPLICATED..............XD

SERIOUSLY ...ppl are getting smarter

A famous brainless guy's secretary was a blondeWhen he wanted to develop his policy on the concept: We ARe Trial and ERROR experts , she lost letters and gave WAR ON TERROR transcript to the Mejah.The financers rushed in, his army too.His army got stranded in quicksands, his army of financers and industrials got stranded too:they made two major blunders ,which led his country to two revolutions in 2008


1 They have ripped off everybody ,expecting a revolt that they were eager to squash;Instead, they got a revolution without one shot being fired:A minority's "political nobody" raised out of nowhere ;he is the boss now and is giving them financers hell .

2 they have increased the cost of the fuel so high, that , under the pressure (low pressure , otherwise called depression ) of the people,car makers have now two choices :build electric cars (or alternative fuel vehicles.)and die slowly or disappear now with their zillion employees.Them automakers , are seeing hell now
In other western countries like this one ( where industrials are friends of the President, ) this electric car business has been set in motion.(The President will be out in no time if he backs up.and he loves the seat soooo much!)
All financers are not finished yet; they started a new scheme (Go Green ), GO G(et) those R(evolutionary) E(nergy) E(xperts) N(owhere)otherwise dubbed G(et ) R(ich),E(ngineering) E(lectric) N(ewbys)
Build electric car in Asia , where it is cheaper to produce , and sell it back tenfold in the West.
Sell to Asians what the Westerners do not want:
oilPayoff one or two puppet leader there, and prohibit there the sale of electric cars.You win tenfold in the West and Fortyfold in the East
-tenfold selling them unwanted products ,
-tenfold by taxing them with the production of CO2 ,
-tenfold by selling them pollution cleaning Equipement,
-AND tenfold by selling them medicine to cure their pollution related diseases )


And as a bonus you get worldwide popularity
I am lucky.I live in this country;
AND here, where I live ,there is no tall building to hide the sun .
I can see it shine from 7 am until sunset, 370 days a year.
I am going plug my electric car to it
Hey ,squeaky lady.
Would you like a ride in my electric limousine?
In a year or two, when it is ready?
Do not forget the key !
Not the car key , you silly!

random thing i read

The bad advice service is open and ready for questions
DATELINE HONG KONG, SEPTEMBER 11: Usually, the best way to thrive in a recession is to have an original idea. Like the guy in New York who started a service offering bad advice at US$1 a time. Sadly, people there are skeptical about the idea, and he hasn’t made much money.
But other people I’ve discussed it with have loved the idea. It would be perfect for many parts of the world, where financial advisors and consultants charge huge fees for getting everything completely wrong. If we are going to get bad advice, at least it should be good value. So here’s a special new version of the Bad Advice service. The first US$5 worth of bad advice, below, is provided free.

Q: I want to go to America to study. What should I do?

A: Grow a beard, change your name to Bin Laden, and write “terrorism” instead of “tourism” under “purpose of visit” on the visa application form.


Q: The women in our law firm have started a legal feminists group. Should we guys be worried?

A: Not at all. Offer to sit in on their meetings “to help them with any hard words they may not understand”.


Q: A new mosque is opening at the end of my street. What sort of welcome present shall we give them?

A: A book of Danish cartoons would be an excellent gift.


Q: A group of large, dangerous-looking gangsters visited my new shop yesterday demanding protection money. What shall I do?

A: Next time they come, kick the largest one in the seat of the pants as a sign of respect.


Q: I am going to visit Malaysia for the first time next week. What shall I bring?

A: Fill your suitcase and your pockets with illegal drugs. Don’t forget to put price labels on them.
*
AND IN OTHER NEWS…
*
ANOTHER SACKING TALE: Here’s a tale to add to our collection of stories of people being fired. Reader Christian Fardel once came back from a vacation in Mexico and told his employer: “I’m back from a beautiful country. I wouldn’t mind living there.” The boss replied: “Good. You’re sacked” and thanked him for “making it so easy”. *

PIZZA HUT IS changing its name to "The Hut”, because consultants say short, generic names are more memorable. Good idea. The Government of Myanmar should change its name to “The Thugs”.

* NAME OF A new playwright in Hong Kong: Cancer Chong. I learned this from a reader named Jason, who added: “She should be the winner of the ‘what were you thinking?’ award.” *

THE PAY OF post-graduates working at universities can be lower than welfare payments to the jobless, I heard from reader Chaminda de Silva. Okay, so who are the intelligent ones?

* A COMMITTEE OF top scientists has created an official scientific definition of the word “space”. It is the area that begins 118 kilometers above sea level on Planet Earth. Or, the vacuum that exists between the ears of George W. Bush.

* A NEW VENDING machine in Miami offers Bentley limousines at US$1.2 million. Downside: You have to stand there for a year, feeding coins into the slot. *

AND FINALLY…

* A WOMAN IN Germany told police she heard someone being tortured in the woods. Officers found Roland Hofmann laughing at a humorous book. A police officer told the press (I didn’t make this up): “The sound of Germans laughing is unusual.”